So this post has been a few weeks in the making. I can explain. Have you ever had such a strange experience that you just kind of wanted to forget it ever happened? Well, that was my weekend a few weeks ago and I needed a bit to decompress and process it all before I felt I could write about it without the entire post just being a big ‘ol WTF.
So it all began back when I was in Salt Lake City for work. There was a guy in the office (we will call him John) whom expressed interest in me almost immediately. We shared the classic small talk and such, and then he asked if he could take me to dinner that night in Park City. If you aren’t familiar with Utah or the SLC area, Park City is a ritzy “suburb” of SLC known for million dollar mansions right on some of the best skiing in North America. How could I pass up this offer? He knew I wasn’t local and I was only there for a few days, so what all could he think he could get out of this? He picked me up that evening from my hotel and we had a nice drive and dinner in Park City. We got back to my hotel and things got more hot and heavy than I really wanted them to get. Thankfully nothing too serious happened and he went on his way about midnight or so. Around 4am I woke up with what I knew immediately were pancreatitis pains. After my episode the previous month and subsequent gallbladder removal, I knew this pain all too well and I couldn’t believe it was not only happening again when it shouldn’t, but really?! I’m out of town and I’ve got to deal with this shit?! I managed to make it to work for a few hours in the morning, but I couldn’t hang and realized I needed to get to a hospital. I was admitted for 4 days for extreme pancreatitis. Well, John even came to see me each day in the hospital. I tried to tell him not to (mainly because I just didn’t want this “relationship” to progress any more or for him to think there was a possibility of something more), but it was nice of him regardless.
I made it home about 5 days later than initially planned and of course John is still all about the possibility of “us.” I couldn’t help but think of one of the best memes that Marlo and I always reference:
I was trying to be nice to John, but also try to give him the hint that I’m not interested like he was. In hindsight, I should have been upfront with him and just told him. This is something I struggle with in casual relationships with men. It’s tough to let someone down! Anyway, he kept referencing us getting together again. Whether it was us meeting somewhere (he suggested Vegas or New Orleans- both cause me to dry heave), or him come to Atlanta, he was all about it. Again, I should have been straight with him, especially this time, but I wasn’t, and before I knew it he had booked a trip to The A for a weekend he knew I was mostly free. Ugh. What had I done?!
John arrived on a Friday evening, and so it began. I had a few ideas for things we could do/ places I could show him, but he was all about trying to get me in bed. Aside from that frustration, he was just very socially awkward and annoying in person. I hadn’t spent much time with him at all, and most of it was when I was heavily drugged in the hospital. I couldn’t understand why he would be interested in me. He’s mormon. I tried earlier to “scare” him away by telling him I am agnostic, and that I don’t believe homosexuality is wrong, etc. I would think these would be deal breakers for a Mormon, right? Not for John, he was apparently all accepting of me and my beliefs. I was skeptical.
One of the most painful things in having to deal with John was the way he holds a conversation….or doesn’t, really. I’m not sure if he has ADHD or if he’s just self-absorbed. I would be telling him something or talking about something and SO often he would almost interrupt me at the end to say something COMPLETELY random and off topic. For example:
K: “Over there are the King and Queen buildings..”
J: I’m planning on going to Zion or Bryce Canyon next weekend.
…What? What the fuck. This was basically how our conversations went. I fought it at first and tried to get back on topic of what I was saying, but I eventually gave up. I didn’t care enough to call him out on it. I knew this weekend would likely be the last time I saw him.
Another John-ism that killed me was his immaturity. I’m all about some silly, dirty, and immature humor every once and a while. However, his was like…13-yr-old boy humor, and all the time. I can’t hang with that. He’s fucking 43 years old. Some might say I was being too uptight, but one reason I’m attracted to men older than me is because you need to even out the maturity level. If a 43 yr old is still stuck on middle school humor there’s something else going on there. Aside from all that, he didn’t get my sarcastic wit. THAT is a deal breaker. Boy, bye.
John is a sweet guy, and he really does care about me and want to try to make something work. I haven’t broken it to him yet that it’s not going to happen with us, but I think he is slowly getting the picture. It would be nice to have a connection in Utah, and he’s super into the outdoors like I am, but I’m not going to try to fake a relationship for that connection. If he’s fine with being friends then that’s great, if not…well then I just had a really interesting and strange encounter with a co-worker. Wasn’t the first and may not be the last!
In summary, all I can really say about the whole experience is: Ugh.